Breaking Up with Insecurity

Dear Insecurities,

I know that this might seem weird considering that you always seem to peep into my thoughts at some point each day, but I wanted to take this time to tell you something that I’ve been meaning to say for a while.

Fact of the matter is, I want to break up with you.

I apologize if that was a little too harsh, but then again you’ve made me cry in the past so I guess we’re what you call “even.” You have always seemed to convince me that I am anything less than beautiful and worthy, so before you even try to make me think otherwise, let me just say a few words.

I don’t understand why or how I decided to let you into my life. As a little girl, I was always so good at keeping you at bay with your nasty words of hatred and ridicule. Once middle school came along though, it’s like you just clung to my side all of the time. You refused to go away and the more you whispered words like “fat,” “stupid,” and “ugly,” I started to think they were true. Now here I am a college sophomore and somehow, you still continue to taunt me with your thoughts everyday. Whenever I go on social media, you stand behind me laughing at the fact that I don’t seem to have a perfect life, like everybody else seems to have. You distort the reflection that I see whenever I look in the mirror. You point and ridicule me every time I pick up a magazine and see the model on the cover. You remind me that I make mistakes, that I’m not perfect, and in a world full of “perfection,” I’m just not good enough.

I’m finally telling you that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I’m done feeling these things. I’m done listening to you. I’m just done.

One thing that I should mention, is that after years and years of being convinced with what you say, I’ve finally realized that they are all lies. Every single thing: a lie. As a little kid, we are taught not to lie and if someone lies, then they shouldn’t be your friend. You should never associate with a liar. The sad thing, is that that is exactly what I’ve been doing for the past eight years: listening and associating with LIES. It will probably be hard to train myself to remind myself the truth, but I know that this for the better.

The beautiful thing is that I won’t be alone. No, this isn’t a break-up story where someone gets dumped and they are both left alone in the world. Nope, I’m replacing you. That’s right, new people are coming into my life and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve heard that not only can they change my life, but they change the people I encounter everyday, because their personality traits are contagious.

Yep, Self-Love, Confidence, and I are going to be the best of friends. And the best part? There’s still more room for others like Self-Acceptance, and Self-Worth. Together, we will be unstoppable.

And don’t worry about me, I won’t miss you one bit.

As I end this final goodbye, I am closing this chapter in my life, this section of my soul, and re-building the broken parts of my heart that you seemed to damage along the way. And I know that at some point, you’ll try to get me to come back. You’ll be begging at my feet to try and convince me, yet again, the lies you’ve told me before, but I’ll be stronger. I’ll be happier. I’ll be free from what used to be your tight grip on my heart.

I pray that one day, you will realize that people are just better off without you and that you will change into something more positive. Until then though, I’ll just be off learning to love myself for who I am.

Beautiful, Worthy, and Imperfectly Perfect.

Sincerely,

Me

*Enjoy this video by Cimorelli. This song really spoke to me and as you watch this, remember that you are truly worth it! Love y'all!